Smoking..

I’m within my sixth week of non-smoking, it gets better but still I do feel the urge to smoke sometimes, restrained only by the knowledge that I’ll become hooked again as soon as I lighten up another one.

The permanent cravings  are gone, conversations with smokers tend to be strain my will but are easily survivable. Standing in the blue smoke still tempts.

But why? I don’t even like the taste. I’ve left behind the illusion that smoking calmes me down or teaches me how to breathe more slowly. My in-official title for smokers, suicidal misanthrope, remains to sound good. Temptation arises from time to time.

Slowly I understand those aggressive ex-smokers. Through a general smoking ban temptations would get rarer. Distrusting collectivism and state-imposed regulations my non-smoking gets a game against myself: do I need higher interventions to finally quit?

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